Scurvy update

 In an earlier post I expressed concern that I had contracted scurvy. Today, I am happy to report that I totally misdiagnosed the problem because initial tests came back showing that I am suffering from nothing more than a mild case of something called leprosy. Apparently having sex with a goat in the Dominican Republic wasn't such a good idea. 

I'd like to take this opportunity to send out a virtual high five to Dr. Fezstein for his professionalism and gentle probing. Actually, high five isn't right, it's more like high stump. 

The good news for all my fans is I am still able to type using my remaining elbow and what is left of my right leg. 

Rest assured, if the condition worsens I will be prepared, as I am currently training a chicken to operate a stenograph machine. A very attractive chicken, I might add.