Hats off!

After yesterday's shoe-throwing incident in Iraq, I got to thinking that if this writing thing doesn't work out, maybe there's an opportunity to train Iraqi journalists in the art of rifling articles of clothing - a sort of fashion firing range catering to disgruntled reporters who are destined to come face to face with visiting heads of state. 

Clearly, Iraqi television journalist, Muntazer al-Zaidi could have used a few lessons before the incident. Unfortunately, now he'll go down in history as the guy with the bad aim. 

Hindsight being what it is, I see that his lack of precision was just a symptom for a bigger problem. The fact is, his inability to lock on his target was actually caused by many factors, not the least of which was shoe weight. After studying the video for the last 16 hours, it appears to me that Mr Zaidi wore a size 11 shoe. As someone who has spent the better part of his adult life throwing things, I can say with first-hand authority that a size 11 shoe is far too large. In fact, the circumference of the large sole creates a disparity between the friction generated by the hand and the air surface it is traveling through leading to a uneven flight pattern. 

In short, he would have been much more successful had he scaled down to a size 9 or 9 1/2 at most. A woman's high heel shoe would have been good too. If it were red even better (maximum dramatic effect).

For future consideration, shirts are never good for throwing because they almost always parachute open never reaching their intended destination. They're also not very threatening. 

Few would argue that the best article of clothing for this sort of activity is the Bolo hat with steel rim as depicted in the James Bond movie Goldfinger. Unfortunately, those are hard to find. Although I may consider throwing in a free Bolo hat with every paid tuition just to boost enrollment.