I don't know if you remember me but I sent a query letter a few days ago asking if you'd be interested in reading my book called "My Penis & Other Short Pieces."
As you may or may not remember, I placed the letter in a box with a freeze-dried rat in honor and celebration of the Chinese New Year. Even though we are both not of Oriental origin, I thought you might enjoy its earthy odor - and glass eyes. You might be interested to know that I freeze-dried it myself - a hobby I partake in from time to time when I am not writing or spending time with my girlfriend, Betty Rubble.
I would like to add that I was also the one that called your home and left 2 or 37 messages, I can't remember how much exactly. Not sure if you got those. I guess you're busy.
Anyhow... have you had the chance to read an excerpt from my book? If so, would you be interested in talking about My Penis on your show? I would be deeply grateful since the mere mention of My Penis flowing from your lips would drive book sales through the roof.
Of course, I know that there would be no reason for you to do this without actually getting anything in return so I am willing to send you an 8 X 10 color photograph of myself - fully clothed or not, your choice - for FREE! You can keep it on your night table, stick it on your fridge or sell it on EBay when my celebrity has reached full peak. I have no problem with that.
Anyways, I'll be waiting. Right here. By the phone. And because it will be a special occasion when you call, I will be wearing pants. Let me know if you'd like an advance copy too. I can get you one at cost.
That's a savings of over 45%! But only if you act now.
P.S.: I loved your work in The Purple Color!
You're going to be big one day!
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment