In a previous post I referred to you as a peddler of smut. I would like to take this opportunity to sincerely apologize to you. Rest assured I meant no harm by this and was simply trying to indicate the unique qualities of my book title (My Penis and other short stories) to potential publishers.
Just between you and me, I am a big fan of your magazine and its innovative use of cucumbers, anacondas and French maid outfits. It is certainly far more interesting than that crass, self-serving octogenarian, Hugh Hefner could ever hope to accomplish.
Perhaps you would be interested in interviewing me for your magazine? I think my story - a struggling short story writer struggling to overcome the struggles of writing short stories - would make a compelling read for the many animal rights activists, clergymen and circus folk who regularly read your magazine. I'd be okay with a nude pictorial too, as long as you gave me enough prep time to tend to my rash.
Anyways let me know, I'll be waiting for your reply!
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