The new elements of style

Although she has not contacted me yet, I know it is just a matter of time before Oprah (as in Winfrey) comes to her senses and realizes (if ratings mean anything to her) that she needs to book me on her show soon... before other less-popular talk show hosts like Merv Griffin or Arsenio Hall cash in on my eventual fame.  

Anticipating a call any day now, I am already thinking about what I should wear for such an event. When it comes to book sales, image is everything so I wouldn't downplay the importance of my fashion forethought. 

To illustrate my flair for trends and to show my serious side as the thinking-man's scribe, I have settled on the haute couture-inspired combination of Indian Headdress, purple suspenders (an homage to Larry King) and white sport socks. 

I'm just not sure whether pants will be necessary... or appropriate.

 

I shall wax just in case.