When they discovered Santa's rotting corpse stuck in my chimney today, I had mixed feelings. On the one hand, I'd be able to use my fireplace again. On the other, no gifts this year.
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May contain traces of nut.
Classic Short Pieces
About Me
- Terrence Paquet
- He is a guy and a writer. He enjoys soup in the cold months. He has gone on record as stating that he has no back hair and has never held a firearm. There are no pictures (so far) to contradict his statements. He has written a book entitled "My Penis & Other Short Pieces" which is currently awaiting courtship from a major publisher or an eccentric oil billionaire who is looking for a tax write-off. Until that time, he likes to write about the book and other things here to keep his thoughts pure and his head straight. Upon meeting him many have said he is much better looking in person. Wittier too. Much to the chagrin of Halle Berry, he is married. His immediate plans include working on a bowl of porridge and maybe a book or something. He has aspirations for more meals in the coming months, but not more wives. Miraculously, he has children who are very normal.
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2009
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April
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- Interview Alert
- The cat
- The choice is hard
- Down boy
- No comment
- I am writer
- Call me Keiko
- A letter to Bob Guccione
- A letter to Hugh Hefner
- Style King
- Richard
- An apology to Herve Villechaize
- A letter to Jean Claude Van Damme
- Stunt Man
- A letter to Merv Griffin
- A letter to Arsenio Hall
- The new elements of style
- Another question from another reader
- An open letter to Oprah
- Controversy = $$$
- Helping Oprah
- Questions from readers
- Old news
- Focus
- It's genital-free day!
- Tips for writers
- God
- Employee rules
- Writer vs button
- Bulging with talent
- Thank you for your order
- You can't fool me
- Duck
- Looking back
- Man seeks woman
- Stop the car
- Mixed feelings -#1 in a series
- Who are I?
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April
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